The events of the last three days have been devastating. While I want to say that its all been unreal, the truth is the last few days are a microcosm of the times in which we live: police brutality, unfiltered black death recorded on cell phones, protests, mass shootings, calls for peace, love and brotherhood and an onslaught of voices attempting to move forward specific agendas on the back of all of this. It has happened close together, but make no mistake- this is the world in which we live.

So how are we to understand these events? Right now Im seeing a lot of appeals to MLK. In speeches, in photos, in tweets, in prayers, in interviews it seems the man killed by a sniper is the voice everyone wants to appeal to now. i understand why. MLK was brilliant and much of his wisdom has stood the test of time. The quote I am seeing most often right now is one that seems as relevant today as it was when first written: "Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that."

MLK certainly doesnt need my approval, but before I begin I want to say that I do agree with MLKs assessment of violence. And though I agree with these words, I want to assure t the importance that we stop taking MLK's words out of context. We must stop using his most memorable quotes to reframe conversations, inserting them like weapons of our own to mean what we want them to mean. MLK did not chidingly say these words to his flock of protestors and then sit down. In an attempt to affirm the words but also give them context I have a few things I would ask you to consider. 

1. Please read the entirety of Where Do We Go From Here? Chaos or Community? It is a book MLK wrote, not a two sentence speech that we have made it. In this book MLK is building a case for nonviolent action as the most useful weapon for the liberation of black bodies in America. He wrote it during the rise of the Black Power movement and is seeking to put that movement into context while also declaring his commitment to maintaining the principles of nonviolence. Why is this important? Because MLK was not suggesting through this statement that black people shouldn't demand justice. MLK was promoting a specific strategy he hoped black people would use to seek justice. In the pages preceding the quote we love so much, MLK lays out the vast number of ways black Americans have suffered injustice: murdered civil rights leaders, political clowns being elected to office based on white backlash (his words, not mine), black people's disproportionate rates of infant mortality, substandard housing, lower incomes, higher unemployment and a host of other issues that have yet to be resolved even in 2017. But MLK does not leave us with these injustices, he outlines many prospects for their rectification including organized labor, eliminating discrimination in employment, credit, and public service, using political power, eliminating poverty and much more. Some of the ideas King raises in this book would be considered radical today. So why does he end up talking about violence? Because he is nervous that the Black Power slogan/movement will lead to violence without a plan. To this end MLK begs black people not to be violent (catch this) in the same way that white people are violent. MLK is saying that if we (black people) imitate the violence of white people, than only more violence will follow because white people are not sympathetic to our cause for justice and are looking for reasons to stand against this cause for justice. In MLKs estimation, black people becoming violent is not only against his principal, but in his estimation simply will not work to achieve justice because its just the excuse white people need to keep being violent. That is the context of this statement, and we must be aware of that when we use it. MLK wrote every word in support of radical forms of justice, and the weapon he hoped to use in that endeavor was non-violence. Because returning white hatred in the form of violence would not work. 

2. Which leads me to my second point. The use of this quote in response to the Dallas shooting is unfair. The protests were not violent. On this the protestors and the officers present have agreed. The man/men responsible for the Dallas shooting, then, is not an example of violence begetting violence. Perhaps what could be said for violence begetting violence is that the sniper was trained to war or that the multiple instances of police brutality/violence is the source. We need more details about his service and experiences before we could be adamant about either. The point is that chiding black lives matter protestors or supporters with the admonition that violence begets violence is unfair but it is also limited- on to point 3. 

3. MLK is espousing/building an entire philosophy of nonviolence. So it is disingenuous to post about violence begetting violence when an officers life is on the line, but not when black civilians lives are on the line. If violence begets violence, than we all ought to be upset with EVERY unarmed murder of a black life, with EVERY mass shooting , with EVERY terrorist attack (local or global) and with EVERY form of violence at political rallies, school playgrounds, private residences and yes twitter feeds and comment sections. To use this phrase discriminately is to suggest that only violence against certain members of society promotes darkness and hatred. Either you believe King's entire philosophy for nonviolence as a way of life for all or you need to stop posting MLK quotes. 

4. I humbly ask that you be vigilant in coming days as folks try to discredit not only the organization black lives matter but the very notion that black lives matter. You can absolutely mourn the loss of all the lives taken, without reducing the importance of systemic change.

5. I want to repeat what I have already stated on social media. This attack was frightening for everyone. During a peaceful march, a peaceful protest, bullets rained down on officers and civilians. A display of unity was violently interrupted and that should anger us all. It is deeply concerning that Im hearing on CNN (some) officers suggest that black lives matter is the problem instead of being angry that someone would so violate a peaceful protest by taking the lives of police. This would be true brotherhood. This would be the beloved community of which MLK speaks. And I fear what comes next when the Dallas Shooting is interpreted as anything other than a violation of both black lives matter and police officers, together. For this is exactly what King was trying to get us to understand, we have a choice between chaos or community. 

I leave you with this, also from Where Do We Go From Here?

"One of the great liabilities of history is that too many people fail to remain awake through great periods of social change. Every society has its protectors of the status quo and its fraternities of the indifferent who are notorious for sleeping through revolutions. But today our very survival depends on our ability to stay awake, to adjust to new ideas, to remain vigilant and to face the challenge of change. The large house in which we all live demands that we transform this world-wide neighborhood into a world-wide brotherhood. Together we must learn to live as brothers or together perish as fools. 

We must work passionately and indefatigably to bridge the gulf between our scientific progress and our moral progress. One of the great problems of mankind is that we suffer from a poverty of spirit which stands in glaring contrast to our scientific and technological abundance. The richer we become materially, the poorer we have become morally and spiritually."   

*I apologize for typos. I will try to circle back and fix them at a later time. 

*this is a Facebook post that I'm placing on this blog for easy sharing; hence why it is untitled* 

For centuries black bodies have done the heavy labor of declaring our own humanity and forcing whiteness to release its grip on the sickness of white supremacy and anti-blackness. For centuries black bodies have had to suffer, have had to fight, have had to protest, have had to resist the deadly dehumanization inflicted by whiteness. In the last two years, technology has given us unprecedented ability to capture, spread, and narrate what black bodies have known too long. It is a gift and a curse. It is a gift to be able to point to evidence; it is a curse to watch on an endless loop the rage, anger, profanity, and force inflicted on our flesh. For black bodies in American things have drastically changed, and they have also remained dreadfully the same. I am no ones slave, this much is true. And I give honor to my ancestors who endured that particular pain. Im grateful for the legacy of the civil rights movement and black power movement. My life is a culmination of those who risked it all for themselves, for their children, for their children's children. It is so very apparent that we understand that while laws have changed over the course of history, one thing America has yet to do is uproot white supremacy. 

The deaths of Alton Sterling and Philando Castlie are not isolated. They are not isolated from Rekia or Sandra or Eric or John or Walter. They are also not isolated from civilians using force against Trayvon or Jordan. These deaths are not isolated from the Charleston Massacre. Nor are any of these isolated from Trumps candidacy, the rise of white supremacist groups or the never ending calls for "calm" and "peace". Black bodies dont have the luxury of taking things in one at a time. These are compounding insults that feel a lot like warnings, weighing on our hearts and minds. It is not blackness that is weight. I love my blackness. We love our blackness. It is whiteness that works so hard to turn blackness into a thing to be feared and killed or commodified and discarded. On a systemic level and in the individual decisions that shape and maintain systems, black bodies have yet to be humanized. 

But we are human. Regardless of what the state does or what the {white} church preaches, regardless of what hate groups declare or the apathetic remain silent about- black bodies matter. 

To white people: its time to identify, call out, and uproot white supremacy wherever you find it. You may not be a police officer who's decisions come with deadly consequences. But dont think you are in any way off the hook. I guarantee somewhere in your life is a space infested with decisions being made to benefit white people at the expense of black people and other races and ethnicities. Its time to be a co-laborer, to risk your body along with mine. Its time for urgency. Your thoughts and prayers and posts dont mean much, if they are only for places far away, and never right where you live, work or worship. 

To my kinfolk: I cannot get the image of Rizpah out of my head. Rizpah lost a son to state sanctioned violence. She wouldn't let the violence be forgotten. She wouldn't let it be swept under the rug. She led a protest of one, fighting off beasts to bring what measure of dignity for the bodies and indictment for the rulers that was in her power to do. The Word says that she took her sackcloth and made a tent out of it. Her tool for mourning became the shelter under which she led her ferocious vigil. Im not here to tall you what to do with your sackcloth. You may need to just wear it, tear it, yell about it, scream and wail. Thats okay. Some may need to use it- putting your rage into organization or donations or writing, or even tweeting- something, anything to speak. It seems Rizpah was on that mountain alone. But you are not. You are not alone. You are not alone. Your body matters. Your life matters.   

#blacklivesmatter 

Its happened again. Most of us knew it would. It is summer after all. Rare is the summer in which we dont have at least one brutal execution in the street. This time the victim is Mr. Alton Sterling and left to mourn are all the people who loved him, including his five children. Earlier today the mother of his oldest child spoke before a press conference to demand justice and share about her son's broken heart. I cant describe the pain and anger of watching yet another black woman bear this pain. The waves of emotions as I try so hard to listen, to honor her words tears at the old scars and creates a brand new one. 

This time, in effort to hold the words of this specific person, this specific family, I listened closely. I have been unable to get her words out of my head. Quinyetta said, "As a mother, I am forced to raise a son who is going to remember what happened to his father. That I can't take away from him. He is at an age of understanding." 

An age of understanding. 

He knows what it means that his father is gone. And he knows why.

Black people. We know a lot about the age of understanding in America. 

Understanding that black bodies were never intended to enjoy freedom of movement in this country. Understanding that black bodies were never intended to taste their own joy in this country. Understanding that the legacies of history- of slavery, of black codes, of jim crow- live on in insidious and fatal ways. Understanding that justice was never intended for black bodies. Understanding that entire institutional systems were created in the mire of anti-blackness. Understanding that blackness is an offense in this country. Understanding that your whole life could be altered when your black skin is all that matters. 

There comes an age when black bodies stand in the gap between America's history and America's present and cant breathe from the pressure of that space. 

We cant breathe and yet we speak back. We band together and raise our whispered voices to a shout. We gather together in public spaces both physical and virtual and shout that our lives do matter. When it is we who have long been the victims of violence are told to "remain calm" we will not. I am not calm. 

I am many things: enraged, angry, saddened, frustrated, upset. But I am not calm, and I dont have any plans to be. 

This disregard for black life is wrong. This disregard for black life is evil. This disregard for black life is rooted in white supremacy and anti-blackness and I will not be calm until both are uprooted. 

I will continue to put white supremacy and anti-blackness on the stand and declare their guilt. I dont have the power to lock them away. I dont have the power to stop this from happening again. I dont have the power to bring back Alton or Sandra or Eric or Mike or Rekia or Tamir or my own cousin. But I will write. I will speak. 

I will name the monster because I too have reached the age of understanding.

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A year ago this week, I was in my pjs, watching the golden girls- a ritual that ends most of my days. That summer I had been trying not to check my phone just before going to sleep, but I couldn't resist. I swiped at the screen opening twitter and the first thing my eyes focused on was a tweet from Chris Hayes announcing a shooting in a black church. 

I was devastated. 

After a year of proclaiming "black lives matter"

After writing out my thoughts and feelings on Trayvon and Jordan and Walter and Michael and Dajerria and too many others

it had all culminated in my own devastation. 

Here we are, one year later and in the same week as we reflect on this massacre, we endure the pain of another which took the lives of 49 mostly brown and black LGBT people, and traumatized many more. 

I cant tell you how tired I am of speaking of death. 

Back in January, I taught a mini class on The New Jim Crow. At the end of each class period, I carved out half an hour to interrogate how our theology requires us to respond to our lesson. While preparing for a particular class, I turned to 1 John 4:18 to add it to my notes for the class. I could quote the first half of the verse off the top of my head, "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear." However, as I reflected on this passage, I read the next seven words with new eyes, "for fear has to do with punishment." Fear & Punishment had been exactly what I was trying to name since I learned Trayvon Martin's name. 

Fear & Punishment- the connection I have desperately been trying to name in unpacking the insidious nature and real consequences of white supremacy. 

Fear & Punishment have too long been the dominate (Christian religious) rhetoric surrounding the LGBTQ community, and it is rare that I hear Christians even acknowledge the existence of Intersex or Asexual persons.  

Fear & Punishment have been America's standard operating procedure for interacting with marginalized communities. 

And the death toll rises.

And so does the grief and the trauma and the tears and the pain and the frustration and the exhaustion and the anger and the rage.

Every time there is a tragic hate crime, specifically attacking a marginalized community, I see lots of pithy words on colorful backgrounds in decorative text. I see avatars that have changed colors, or filters or images. I see a ton of beautiful connections and support between the members of the marginalized communities most impacted. I even see expressions of allyship from friends and family members. We have had so many massacres in this country, all the above have become in many ways necessary.

What I wish was also considered necessary was an interrogation of the fears that drive the desire for punishment. I wish our rhetoric around love had more teeth. I wish we could see the connection between homophobia, islamophobia, and white supremacy (which is just a collection of phobias held by whiteness) and death. I wish we had the courage to call these acts of terror monstrous,

and ask ourselves what we have in common with the monster. 

It is often said that we hate what we fear. What we rarely talk about is that hate has demands. Hate is not disarmed. Hate requires blood. 

This is a great grief that we bare today. It is almost unreal that we are navigating the grief of one massacre while reflecting on another. Except it becoming a too familiar feeling.   

I have found myself, this week, oscillating between grief and hope, anger and love, frustration and defiance. It is entirely possible that if I deleted this post and wrote another in an hour, you'd get a completely different Austin. Thankfully the Spirit of God, Spirit of Love is not limited to my little blog post of the day, is not threatened by my text on a website, is not bounded by own fears for the safety of the communities I love. This is perhaps my gift of the day- that God is God and I am not. God isnt relying on my hopefulness. God isnt in need of my happy footnote on a day of great sadness. 

And so I rely on Scripture instead of my own feeble words. "For whoever fears has not been perfected in love. We love because God first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother." 

May the Spirit of God that casts out fear permeate our hearts and lead to transformative action such that fear and punishment must succumb to love.