Nov 9th

Today I woke up and wept as if someone I love has died. I need you to know that it was a strange feeling, because I am no stranger to our divided states. I have studied our divisions. I have studied the roots and particularities, the manifestations and the patterns that fall along our racial fault lines. And I have been on the receiving end of that hate- letters and emails, trolls, and people walking out of my sermons or angrily exploding at me afterwards. I didnt need an election to tell me about the power of white supremacy. But what I have learned over the years, is that knowing doesnt stop us from feeling. We know a break up needs to happen, but we still feel the loss. We know a grandparent is going to die but we still feel the loss. Knowing doesnt always insulate us from feeling.

I spent a lot of time feeling feelings today because I have people in my life who are afraid of a spouse, a sibling, a parent being deported. I spent a lot of time in my feelings today because people in my life are afraid to practice their religion. I spent a lot of time in my feelings today because people in my life who are LGBTQ are wondering what backlash comes next. I spent a lot of time in my feelings today because I know young women who are sexual assault survivors and their sense of security in the world has been stolen again. I spent a lot of time in my feelings today because we have already been warned of a "law and order" agenda and I know what that means for black and brown people. I spent a lot time in my feelings today because I am legitimately worried about the real implications of this election decision.

And "God being on the throne" doesnt make those real implications less real. God was on the throne during Hitlers regime. God was on the throne during slavery and Jim Crow. God was on the throne during Japanese internment. God was on the throne during Native American genocide. The very suggestion that marginalized people dont have to worry because God is on the throne is an extraordinarily privileged theology. If you want to be a help to hurting people, dont wash your hands of this election with platitudes that only work for those who will remain largely untouched by the policies and attitudes perpetuated and promised during the campaign. If you want to offer something helpful, consider sharing with those who are hurting that you are willing to take larger risks because God is all powerful. Tell some people that are hurting, that you will confront the racism in your family because you serve a God who is all powerful. Tell people that are hurting that you will stand up for them when its frightening and unpopular because you serve a God who is all powerful. Tell people that are hurting that you will not stand for your church to dehumanize anybody, any body because you serve an all powerful God. Tell us about how this all powerful God is moving you to greater action, greater advocacy, greater passion. If all you have for me and people I love is: "dont worry; God is still on the throne" you are telling me more about you than about God. 

My lovelies. I hope you spent the day taking care of yourselves to the degree that you can. It was hard to face the world today. It was so hard. I hope you will continue to take care of yourselves. I hope you let the Holy Spirit remind you of who you are- not who the world says you are. I know the feelings and emotions of this moment will likely come in waves as those around us voice their own concerns, as we cry together, as we begin to find the words to describe how we are feeling. Keep checking in. Keep checking in. 

Ive only just started to feel glimpses of defiance. Mostly my heart still hurts. So I am going to take it slowly. I am choosing to be gentle with myself. I hope you will be gentle with yourselves too. But know this. I am coming for white supremacy. I will stand against injustice as it starts to unfold in specific ways over the next few years. I will write more. I will speak more. In my good moments, I am imagining new ways to work together. Its too soon for me to have details or next steps or anything to do. But I wont be going into hiding. I will cry this one out, but I will also be back to work. Just you wait.