When I was a teenager my father told me that ministry work falls into three categories: 1. Planting the seed-  being the first to tell someone about Christ. 2. Watering the embryo- having the opportunity to minister to Christians still learning about the depth of God's love. 3. Tending the plant- helping someone mature in their faith. This was a really simple but useful tool for me as a teenager- trying to be a good friend, set good boundaries, and have healthy expectations of myself.  

I recently realized that my father's tool can also describe the relationship between a reconciler and the organization where s/he works.

1. Some of us work in institutions that need a seed. The organization isn't quite  persuaded that reconciliation is a relationship worth pursuing. It is an organization that has been just fine maintaining its homogenous culture, and you are likely interrupting this comfortability. If you find yourself demanding new songs, new speakers, new teaching materials, new outreach ministries, and no one understands why, you are planting a seed. This stage for a reconciler can be extremely frustrating if you don't realize that this is your role in the life of the organization. It is not wise to expect a plant to sprout up, if you are the first voice giving credence to this thing called reconciliation. Planting requires a great deal of patience- answering questions, casting vision, breaking and tilling ground for the work of the Holy Spirit. It also requires a great deal of fortitude. You may have to plant a lot of seeds before even one takes root. 

2. Others of us work where the little embryo needs to be watered. These are institutions that believe in the vision but aren't quite sure how to make that vision a reality! Watering the embryo often requires placing structure around the values of the organization's declared commitment to reconciliation. Reconcilers are often coalition builders- finding advocates within the organization, bringing them together into one cohesive group, making an abstract vision practicable. Watering the seed first requires a certain amount of trust in your leadership and the vision they have embraced (and yes, some evidence of growth on their part). Consider, if you are convinced that you are planting seeds, but your organization is wanting action steps, you might miss the opportunity to move the vision forward. Harping on what the organization "needs to do, believe, or become" instead of helping them do it, could be an exercise in frustration for all involved.  

3. Then there is the work of tending to the plant. In my experience this is the life span that most reconcilers long for, at least in theory. We all want to work for the organization that "gets it", that has a structure, that has figured out the lingo, that stands as a model for others. But even tending the plant can be difficult. Organizations that need tending run the risk of thinking their growth is complete. I once owned a plant that had to shed its lower leaves in order to keep the plant healthy and growing. Growth meant death for that plant. The same can be said of tending an organization- perhaps the leadership structure needs to be changed, or money needs to be reallocated, or privilege needs to be challenged. Tending the organization is a process that often involves sacrificing the systems, structures, policies and powers that the organization is most reluctant to challenge.  

I wonder if you might consider which stage describes your organization. Is your organization a seed, an embryo or a plant? Are you treating it that way? Have you been trying to water a seed before its in the ground? Are you frustrated that the embryo isn't turning into a plant fast enough? Are you tending the plant or just content to enjoy its beauty?  

What about your gifting? Which role are you best to suited to embody as a reconciler? Are you best at planting seeds within an organization? Should you be watering the efforts of an organization? Or were you made to tend an organization into maturity?

Wherever you are, whoever you are Plant, Water, Tend, for this is the work of a reconciler. 

This is great! If you are regularly involved in conversations about race or facilitate them among others, you should have this information in your back pocket at all times! Click on the title or image below to see the full document. 

28 Common Racist Attitudes and Behaviors

A couple weeks ago I participated in leading a Vocational Retreat for a group of young adults who are living in Chicago. This group of young people have chosen to spend a year of their lives in service- working with children, partnering with churches, living in community, enjoying the city, and exploring their calling. The latter is where I had the pleasure of joining their conversation. And we asked a ton of questions! 

• How do I know if I'm pursuing God's calling or my own ego?
• Will I ever know if I'm really ready to pursue my calling?
• How do I prepare myself for setting boundaries since I already feel so closely connected to the issue I feel called to pursue? 
• Why won't God take away all my fears about pursuing my vocation?
• How will I support myself if I pursue my vocation? (We decided that we at least want to afford cheese and crackers for dinner.)
• What am I supposed to do when God puts up a stop sign, when I thought I was pursuing His plan rather brilliantly?

As they revealed how they journeyed from their childhood dream to their current dream vocation, there was a common occurrence. We called it "the stop sign". At some point each of them was on the path of pursuing a specific dream, when all of a sudden there was a dead end, a closed door, someone said no... a stop sign. We learned that for each of them, it was this stop sign that caused them to pursue another dream, ultimately leading them to their vocation. Unfortunately for us all, the stop sign feels a lot like devastation. When we reach a real stop sign, we simply decide which direction to go- left, right, forward. There is very little emotional connection to this common pause in life. But a stop sign while pursuing a dream feels more akin to driving off the cliff (or maybe thats just me).  

Hence how we arrived at the need to spend a little more time sipping margaritas with God. Pursuing a vocation that somehow involves using the threads of justice, church, pain and conflict to weave something that resembles goodness, community and life is intense. It's intense to ponder, let alone pursue. So we need to take a couple time outs. When the stop sign comes, don't freak out. Don't drive off the cliff. Embrace the pause, and sip a margarita with God. 

Despite all of our questions and the anxiety that comes with them, we affirmed with one another that our peace can be found in God. It is ultimately Him that we pursue, not the vocation itself. Our image of the margarita has little to do with the alcohol content, and more to do with friendship, community, peacefulness, and maybe even a little fun! Anytime I am sipping margaritas with friends there is a lot of laughter involved. Imagine that- laughter with God, tossing your head back and not being afraid to say exactly what you think, exactly how you feel. Imagine pouring your heart out conspiratorially with the God you love.

We imagined ourselves leaving the devastation of the stop sign, laying down the intensity of the pursuit and resting in Him- perhaps even over a margarita! Thanks, Dwell Chicago, for reminding me to delight in God.

Take one step forward. Take one step. The directions are pretty simple, but the impact of this tool can be far reaching. The Privilege Walk is primarily based on an article written by Peggy McIntosh called, "White Privilege: unpacking the invisible knapsack". In social justice circles, this article is a classic, a reference point for talking about race, gender, privilege, and socioeconomic realities. Though it seems like a tool which wraps all of this into one activity would be difficult to lead, its actually quite simple.

Instructions

All participants line up shoulder to shoulder, facing the same direction. Using Peggy McIntosh's list of the ways she experiences privilege, the facilitator will ask participants if they have had the same experience. At the end of each statement, participants are asked to step forward or backward. For example, the facilitator will say, "If you are often asked to speak for all members of your race, take one step back" or "If you do well at work or school but are never told that you are 'a credit to your race', take one step forward." The questions all speak to various aspects of male, white or economic privilege. Many of the questions link these aspects within one question. Its beautiful. The questions can be far extended beyond the 25 listed in Peggy's article. My team almost doubled the number of questions the last time we used this tool. 

Once all the questions have been asked, and everyone has taken plenty of steps forward and/or backward, the room will realize how polarized America remains between genders, races and classes. Its a clear visual and compels conversation! This is where a great facilitator steps in. Having a full discussion about this experience can be incredibly fruitful for sharing stories, understanding the impact of race, gender and class in small ways and large, and unpacking our feelings about it all.

Variations

There are a number of variations of this activity as well. To have an extremely focused conversation, the facilitator could carefully choose only gender questions or only racial questions. This can be helpful for participants who are new to the idea of privilege and need a small stepping stone into the conversation. Or the questions could be expanded to include sexuality, ability, religion, etc. The elasticity of the questions greatly expands the reach of this activity. Another variation is to change the formation. I've heard of facilitators who choose to group participants in a circle, so that there is less of a notion of hierarchy at the end. Lastly, there are some facilitators who choose to add money- first person to cross an invisible line receives $20. As you can imagine, this heightens the emotional response of participant answers throughout the activity. 

Conclusion

As a facilitator, I really enjoy using this tool. As a participant, I must have done this Walk more than a dozen times. I'm emotionally effected every time. There is something about this activity and its questions that never gets old for me.

I've used it with a wide range of age groups junior high students through senior citizens. It works with intergenerational groups, and the more diverse the participants (race, gender, socioeconomic, etc) the better the activity and discussion! Word to the wise, you do have to have some diversity to accomplish this activity well. If you have a homogenous group while asking questions about diversity, you will find that their is not much visual impact to draw upon at the conclusion of the activity. The activity also works well with very large groups, as long as you have enough space. I've regularly don't it with 50-60 people and have never felt overwhelmed, perhaps because the activity takes place in silence until the facilitator begins the discussion. 

The discussion can be very emotional for participants. It is not uncommon to hear expressions of pain, anger, guilt and shame. So the facilitator should be very skilled in managing the emotions of a group and allow for sufficient time for all members to have an opportunity to express themselves. It can be an incredible time of honest sharing.

Have you ever participated in the Privilege Walk? What was your experience?