It happens every time there is an unjust and inhumane shooting of an unarmed black person. There are many posts, tweets, and status updates that are committed to giving a 'balanced view'. This usually means admitting the racial inequities in America's criminal justice system. Then to balance the other end of the teeter totter it becomes necessary to also admit that there are problems in the black community- black on black crime, fatherlessness, poverty, etc... This plank then rests on calls for love, forgiveness or peace. Done and done. 

While I understand the desire to be balanced, I need you to know that you won't get that here. This itty-bitty corner of the internet is going to be decidedly UNbalanced.  

Why? Because I believe it is fine to say, "This is wrong. Unarmed black people should not loose their lives" and leave it right there. That is enough. These complete sentences in all their unbalanced glory can stand alone. This is a singular thought. It is a thought worthy of being wrestled with all by itself. 

It is not that I am unwilling to talk about these other devastations that plague some communities of color. In fact, I welcome conversation about these realities. But you should know in advance that I don't relegate the conversation on race to shootings and incarceration rates. Racism is far to effective, conniving, and complete to define only these. So lets talk about poverty, but lets do so without forgetting about slavery, jim crow, redlining, white flight, contract sales, and the extraction of wealth from generations of hardworking people of color at the hands of government, courts, real estate agents and landlords. I'm willing to talk about fatherlessness, but not without also talking about joblessness, health disparities, incarceration rates, discriminatory sentencing, the effects of sentencing, the difficulties surrounding all things related to determining and jailing men for child support, and then I'd point to positive statistics on the presence of black men in their children's lives, despite all these difficulties. I won't go on here, but I hope I have made clear that these other issues dont magically fall outside the purview of racism, somehow pure and untouched- existing in some vacuum of black deficiency. No. They are all connected, reinforced time and again in a web of discriminatory practices that lead to hopelessness, fear, isolation and death. 

So I will not be giving any balanced views over here. I believe firmly that to practice love is to disrupt the status quo which is masquerading as peace; and not only that, I will continue to call for repentance from this injustice, leaving forgiveness between the grieved and God. 

I will continue to be UNbalanced until systemic racial disparities are no more. For as long as the system is unbalanced, I will be too.   

By now you have seen the pictures, watched the video or read the story of Walter Scott's murder. By now you know there were 5 shots driven into the back of a man who was running away from the officer, imposing absolutely no physical threat. You've probably heard that the officer moved evidence to support his lie that he only shot Walter because of an immediate physical altercation. By now you have experienced the shock. 

But I need you to know, the murder of Walter Scott is all too familiar. 

Its too familiar. 

Black bodies running. Black bodies scared. Black bodies falling. Black bodies in the dirt. Black bodies in pain. Black bodies silenced. Black bodies unarmed. The broken black body has too often defined our American experience. 

And its traumatizing. Every time. Every story. Every callous murder recalls the ones before it, the millions who have died at the hands of white supremacy. And it all feels so hopeless. 

If you watched the video, did you happen to notice something in the demeanor of the officer? Did you happen to notice the care he took to cover his tracks? Did you happen to notice him yelling at the man he just shot five times to put his hands behind his back? Did you happen to notice how long it took for him to check Walter Scott's pulse? And according to news, do you know what people who know the officer said? "He was so nice. I cant believe it." 

He was so nice. 

And here I sit, once again screaming at my laptop, "Your politeness will not save you from the dehumanization white supremacy wreaks on yourself and the world". 

Somebody get me a megaphone. 

Because this is all too familiar. And niceness has yet to save us from the distortions of racism. 

And it won't. Niceness will never be enough. 

Niceness will never be enough. 

It is almost inevitable, the apologies. They come after moving talks or convicting presentations. They fall out of the mouths of those struggling with guilt and shame. The memories of jokes and offense, of discrimination and hate, of turning a blind eye or hiding behind silence are too much to bear. The sorries are wrapped up in family histories, tied in a bow of secrets. 

The sorries rarely involve the two people present. She is sorry for the way someone else treated me- that time 15 years ago someone called me a n******. Or he is sorry for a joke told at his company's picnic. The subject and the one treated as an object never occupy the same space in these apologies. Like lead, they hit the ground. 

But I cant use another sorry. They are of no use to me. 

They are too flimsy to form a foundation of love, trust, or friendship. They are too shallow to offer comfort in the midst of pain, rejection or isolation. They are too weak to provide defense from the next offense. And I sure cant use them to pay my student loans or put a down payment on a home. 

The truth is, they act as calamine lotion, alleviating the itching and discomfort of your own wounds. 

They dont serve me. 

Rather than handing out empty sorries, turn toward confession, lament, repentance. 

If you have hurt someone, it is good and right to confess that sin to her, that you both may be healed. If this is not possible, you can still confess your sin to Christ- those ugly thoughts, those awful jokes, your participation, your silence, your enjoyment, your fear. God is faithful to forgive and cleanse. 

Lament. Lament feels deeply. Far from a quick fix, lament requires staying power. Mourning over the wrongs committed. Deep sorrow over the pain caused. Lament sits in the pain for awhile, recognizing the depth of the brokenness. Often lament comes to the conclusion that things are so awful, so broken, so messed up that the only hope of rescue we have is God. it displaces our ability to fix and walk away; lament demands that we recognize that only the healing of God can makes us whole.  

Repentance is of far greater value than a truckload of sorries. I'm sorry isn't the same as, "I won't do that again." I speak only for myself here, but you need not ever apologize to me again, if instead you will repent, turn from these wicked ways and live in peace with fellow man. Repentance requires far more of us. Repentance requires commitment. 

Keep your sorries. I cant do nothin with them.

~My forever and always thankfulness for the work of the brilliant Ntozake Shange for her moving work For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide/When the Rainbow is Enuf from which the line "I cant use another sorry" comes and on which this post is structured.~    

Y'all, I have been avoiding writing this. For days now, I have been unable to get out of my mind that Department of Justice report on how the community of Ferguson has been unjustly policed. It is almost midnight as I write this, so I am going to keep my comments short, but I hope they are received with openness. My hope truly is not to stir up controversy or restart conversations from the beginning. It is my desire only to express why Christians ought to care about the contents of this report. I submit to you that it is our duty not to brush it aside, but to be full of repentance and to seek correction.  

Whether reading snippets of the report, listening to the Attorney General summarize the findings, or reading the entire thing- there is little good to be found in this report. The number of civil rights violations is quite appalling. Allow me to cite just a few examples: 

• Ferguson’s harmful court and police practices are due, at least in part, to intentional discrimination, as demonstrated by direct evidence of racial bias and stereotyping about African Americans by certain Ferguson police and municipal court officials. (source)
• Routine interactions between officers and black residents quickly escalated. In 2012, for example, an officer patted down a black man whose car appeared to violate a city code on window tinting. The man was ultimately arrested on eight offenses, including “making a false declaration” by giving his nickname instead of the name on his license. Over the course of the arrest, the officer accused him of being a pedophile, asked to search his car without cause and reportedly held a gun to his head. (source) 
• Officers violate the Fourth Amendment in stopping people without reasonable suspicion, arresting them without probable cause, and using unreasonable force. Officers frequently infringe on residents’ First Amendment rights, interfering with their right to record police activities and making enforcement decisions based on the content of individuals’ expression (source)
• The Ferguson Police Department used tasers and dogs in excess on black suspects. In 2013, one man was chased down and bitten by an officer’s dog even though the officer had frisked him and knew the man was unarmed. The officer’s supervisor later justified the use of force with a patently untrue statement, suggesting that the officer feared “that the subject was armed.” (source)
• Ferguson police and court officials were focused on generating revenue from municipal fines. The municipal court routinely considered more than 1,000 offenses in a single session. In 2011, the police chief reported that fines in the last month “beat our next biggest month in the last four years by over $17,000.” The city manager responded: “Wonderful!” (source)
• The Ferguson Municipal Court practices exacerbating the harm of Ferguson’s unconstitutional police practices and imposing particular hardship upon Ferguson’s most vulnerable residents, especially upon those living in or near poverty. Minor offenses can generate crippling debts, result in jail time because of an inability to pay and result in the loss of a driver’s license, employment, or housing (source)
• In nearly 90% of cases in which Ferguson documented the use of force, those actions were used against African Americans. A review of 161 such cases by Justice investigators found that none of the incidents resulted in disciplinary action. (source)
• Several police and court employees expressed racist views in emails and interviews. Messages between Ferguson officials compared African-Americans to chimpanzees and characterized a black woman’s abortion as an effective crime-stopping tool. (source)
• Attorney General Holders summary remarks can be seen (here) 

The list of civil rights violations seems to be unending. For this alone we ought to be outraged for our fellow citizens. In fact, we should be sick to our stomachs for these normalized and institutionalized acts of dehumanization.

So often, when we talk of the Civil Rights Movement of the 60's, we all want so badly to believe that we would have stood on the right side of history- that we would have marched, would have protested, would have sung freedom's songs. And yet, here the opportunity stands before us to be outraged, to be demanding, to protest this treatment of black citizens... and yet. Compared to the atrocities listed here, the nation is relatively silent. The community residents and activists of Ferguson once again lead the way in demanding equal treatment under the law. 

But this is only one reason why we ought to be outraged, the other is because this level of injustice is an outrage to God. This is nothing short of an abuse of power, crushing the heads of the poor (Amos 2:7) to line the pockets of the powerful. This "justice" system is being used to steal as much money as is possible from residents, and the spoil of the poor is in their houses (Isaiah 3:14). Using minor offenses, the residents are subject to physical, mental, emotional and economic abuses. And this is done with rejoicing! They love evil and hate what is good (Micah 3:1) With pleasure and laughter, cheers for a job well done and offensive emails they reinforce the dehumanization of residents among one another. 

The prophets spoke against this behavior, over and over again. We have no credibility shouting in our churches for "justice to roll down like waters, righteousness like an ever flowing stream" (Amos 5:24) if we do not wrestle with what is happening in Ferguson and far too many other cities across America. We have no credibility to wear t-shirts that read "do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with God" (Micah 6:8)- if we dont intend to actually practice justice for all. 

I'm not sure where we picked up this idea that a citizen breaking the law is the ultimate offense, rather than expecting those in power to not abuse their authority. My guess is its because there are some communities who face this treatment daily, and others who can barely fathom it. But we must. We must wrap our minds around this crooked and unjust system. We must read it and respond in righteous indignation. We must read it and hold our authorities to a higher standard. Justice systems exist because we know that residents break laws. And while this is certainly not honorable, what is far worse and far more unacceptable is for the authorities to create offenses, to over fine, to sick dogs, and to hold guns to citizens heads for his windows being tinted. 

If it were your community, if it was your brother's house being raided constantly, if it was your sister's fines stacking up because there is no place for appeal, if it was your neighbor's child bitten by a dog, would that be enough to care? Because these are our brothers and sisters and neighbors. And we, as Christians, must hold ourselves responsible for seeking justice where there is a system of injustice. 

The DOJ report contains "recommendations" for fixing these issues. The residents of Ferguson are seeking new leadership to establish just systems for their lives. Lets make sure we have their back by staying informed on the progress and lending our support as residents have need. And lets make sure we are staying aware of any communities near us experiencing the same.